Objectification jokes
I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.
The best part? She don't talk back.
I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.
What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?
They both come with a toy.
What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?
You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.
"Clap clap clap that ass, bitch, shake that cameltoe, let them see them pussy lips!"
I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.
I lost my virginity once and found it in a store being sold off.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.
Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.
How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
A straw.
Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day.
Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first.
Are you a microwave? Because I’m trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am.
Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet.
Are you makeup? Cause I’d spend hours doing you.
Are you a guitar? Because I’d love to hear the noises you make when I play with you.
Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down.
Most restaurants are closed at night, but your legs aren’t.
I’m not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out.
Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight.
Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall.
I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately, but I hope it’s you.
Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream.
Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you.
Do you sing in the shower? Because if so, I need a private ticket of your concert.
Are your legs the twin towers? Because I’ll bomb what’s in between.
Are you a blanket? Because you’re on top of me every night.
Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7.
Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream.
I’m so jealous of your heart right now because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not.
Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down.
Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up.
Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.
"Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you on my desk and do you all night."
Why are women like KFC?
After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Why did a woman believe she was a target? She had a price tag without any value to it.
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
Why are girls and rocks so alike?
If they're flat, they get skipped.
I like my wine how I like my women: 7 years old, and locked up in my basement.
Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
What is easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
Women.
You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."