Objectification jokes

I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.

The best part? She don't talk back.

"Clap clap clap that ass, bitch, shake that cameltoe, let them see them pussy lips!"

"Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you on my desk and do you all night."

I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.

What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?

You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.

I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!

Why are girls and rocks so alike?

If they're flat, they get skipped.

What do women and KFC have in common?

After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

Hey girl, is that an ass seen on TV, 'cause I'd buy it.

What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.

I like my wine how I like my women: 7 years old, and locked up in my basement.

I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.

What's the best part about a dead prostitute?

The second hour is free.

Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

Why are women like KFC?

After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There are 20 of them.

Gun + Backpack = Fun!

Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

I lost my virginity once and found it in a store being sold off.