Objectification jokes
What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?
The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.
What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?
They both come with a toy.
I'm so bored and miserable, that I have sex with my inflatable girlfriend every night.
The best part? She don't talk back.
What do women and KFC have in common?
After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.
Why are women like KFC?
After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day.
Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first.
Are you a microwave? Because I’m trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am.
Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet.
Are you makeup? Cause I’d spend hours doing you.
Are you a guitar? Because I’d love to hear the noises you make when I play with you.
Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down.
Most restaurants are closed at night, but your legs aren’t.
I’m not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out.
Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight.
Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall.
I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately, but I hope it’s you.
Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream.
Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you.
Do you sing in the shower? Because if so, I need a private ticket of your concert.
Are your legs the twin towers? Because I’ll bomb what’s in between.
Are you a blanket? Because you’re on top of me every night.
Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7.
Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream.
I’m so jealous of your heart right now because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not.
Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down.
Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up.
Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
What's the difference between a light bulb and a woman?
You can screw and unscrew a light bulb, but you can't unscrew a woman.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.
What do garbage bins and horny women have in common?
They wait to be filled with a big load.
"Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you on my desk and do you all night."
What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.
Why did a woman believe she was a target? She had a price tag without any value to it.
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
"Clap clap clap that ass, bitch, shake that cameltoe, let them see them pussy lips!"
What's the difference between property and women? At least property still retains some value after getting wrecked.
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.