Numbers jokes
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...
What is the highest number?
420.
Why did the teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't get even.
Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.
Momma's House-By-watersharky Productions and Dustin Lynch- I see your face on every street, every corner, couple trees. Even got her name on 'em. I feel your love, I hear your laugh, got them take me way on back. Hurt me memories, I don't want 'em. Up and down the boulevard. In and out of every bar. I'd burn this whole town down. Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground. Baby, I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that? Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass. I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. I would start it where we started, at the downtown party Where you kissed my lips and stole my beer. The city park in the dark where we looked up at the stars Watched them fireworks pop last year. It started under that Texaco sign where you said goodbye I'd get some gas and drop a match right there. I'd burn this whole town down. Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground. Baby, I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that? Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass. I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. Fire red flames, sunsets in the sky Going out, staying in, staying up long nights. Now I'm waking up alone, wishing I could move on Blocked your number in my phone, thought it help but it don't. I'd burn this whole town down. Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground. Baby, I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that? Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass. I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house.
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
2 + 2 is 4, minus one, that's 3. Quick maths.
I like my clocks like I like people.
Under 12.
Me, a Chinese woman, and her BFF walked into a bar. I asked the Chinese girl for her number. She said, “Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!” I said, “Wow!”
Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629.”
Age is just a number.
Police are just people.
Jail is just a room.
How did 10 die?
Because it was in between 9 and 11.
Why did the ACLU block the cellphone number of a Christian nationalist minister? Because the Christian nationalist had a virus on his cellphone and kept calling the ACLU because he wanted to join the ACLU because he wanted to become a card-carrying member of the ACLU.
Why is 10 so sad? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't. 61.
Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?
Because she got Avogadro's number!
I read the chapter of numbers, but nowhere did I ever see your number.
Hey, math:
I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!
I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.
A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.
My name, my address, and my phone number.