Nothing

Nothing jokes

Mom

    • Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!

    Me: Nothing, why?

    Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.

    Me that/every night: *sob*

    Friends: Are you okay?

    Me: Yeah, fine.

    Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...

    Baby

    • What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?

    The cat is still alive.

    What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?

    Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.

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    • Nothing memes

    Hater

    • jacethehater, you are a hater, and it needs to stop! Waterhsharky is very nice to people, so leave him alone for whatever he/she did or did not do. He did not do nothing. So leave him/her alone. Plus, making threats to people is very bad, and comments can be seen everywhere! So don't get too cocky with everything.

    Depression

    • Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?

    Me: Seeing others happy.

    Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?

    Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.

    Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.

    Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...

    Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?

    Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".

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    • Wave

    • What did the other wave say to the other wave?

    "Nothing, they just waved!"

    Tuna

    • Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.

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    • School

    • In the French school, four sentences must be written. Fritz heard his mother say, "Close the door!"

    Fritz went to his uncle and heard, "Yes, I'll put it there."

    Then he came to his brother who said, "They call me Superman, hahaha!"

    Finally, his sister looked at a photo and said, "Wow!"

    The next day, the teacher said, "Okay, Fritz, it's your turn. Finish eating and take out the trash!" Fritz said, "Close the door!"

    The teacher got angry and said, "I want to see the principal." Fritz replied, "Yes, my friend, I am leaving you."

    The teacher asked, "I have forgotten your name, what is it?" Fritz said, "I'm Superman! I'm Superman! You're nothing!"

    "Who do you think I am?" asked the teacher, who had become very angry. Fritz replied, "Wow!"

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    • Pill

    • Today was like every other day. It was so terribly long and so terribly dreary. I fear these feelings will never end. I’ll always feel so dark, feel so hopeless. Sometimes all I want is for it to end. For all of it to end, for all of my thoughts to end. I despise the way that always comes to mind. But I feel so lost, feel so hopeless. If something would just work. But nothing has worked. Nothing can fix this. These feelings will pass. These days won't feel so endless... or so absolutely heavy. Just give it some time. Just give it some hope... and some belief. The ‘happy pills’ will work. The doctor says they'll help... they'll help it go away. Just dump the pill in your hand. Let yourself place the little white thing on your tongue... Let yourself throw your head back and swallow. It'll make this better. It should make me feel better.

    Everything has changed! The world is so bright— The world is so loud! I don’t know how I never noticed! The sun is so warm— The grass is so green! I feel so awake! I feel so content— I feel so happy! It’s so strange! I’m not anxious— I’m not overthinking! I guess those pills really worked! I think I’m really getting better— I think I’m really going to be happy!

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