Nothing jokes
What did the orphan do when he got punched?
Nothing, because his parents weren't there! :)
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
My sister told me she liked Medusa.
I said, "Huh?"
My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.
What do you call a black man in the dark?
- Nothing.
9/11 called for help. What did that get? Nothing.
I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...
Because you already look ugly.
I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.
Friend: “What's that on your arm?”
Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
What's the difference between an ugly monster and you?
Nothing.
What do depression and suicide have in common?
Nothing, they're both hanging.
What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, they haven't got family.
What did the skeleton pull out from behind his ear?
Nothing. Skeletons don’t have ears.
What's the difference between your girlfriend and sister? Nothing if you're from Alabama.
What's the difference between me and my pencil sharpeners? Nothing, we're both broken.
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.
"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.
"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head.
"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.
"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."
God died for your sins, so basically if you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing.
What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
What did the orphan say to the adopter?
Nothing, he just stared.