Nothing jokes
What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you told them twice.
Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"
The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"
Johnny replies: "Sure."
After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.
Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"
The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."
After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.
Africa spelled backwards is Acirfa, which means absolutely nothing. But Acirfa spelled backwards is Africa, which is a word.
What’s the difference between the twin towers and your parents?
Nothing, they are both just memories.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and your parents?
Nothing. They are both just memories.
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
What did the orphan do when he got punched?
Nothing, because his parents weren't there! :)
They say Jesus walked on water.
That's nothing. Stephen Hawking ran on batteries.
My sister told me she liked Medusa.
I said, "Huh?"
My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.
What do you call a black man in the dark?
- Nothing.
9/11 called for help. What did that get? Nothing.
I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...
Because you already look ugly.
I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.
Friend: “What's that on your arm?”
Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
What's the difference between an ugly monster and you?
Nothing.
What do depression and suicide have in common?
Nothing, they're both hanging.
What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, they haven't got family.