Not Jokes

Did Jesus die a virgin?

Of course not!! He got nailed before he died.

Dark humor is just like food, not everybody gets it.

do you know why pedos get away with molesting ophans who are they gonna tell not there parents

There was a boy a named Sammy and he was deeply in love with a girl named Rayne but she didn’t notice him or talk to him but one day she did and they end up liking each and getting married and lived happil- wait no that’s not right Sammy snuck in Raynes house at night and Kidnapped her locked her in his basement and turned her in a puppet so she be with him forever and ever. The End.

When I was a kid I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.

An orphan made an Instagram, he did not know what that symbol was on the bottom left hand corner

finally some social platform where you can talk about muslims and not get bombed. obv, unless you share your residence.

what do you call an emo person whos not depressed? dead.

me: Mom the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!

My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer. I’m not too worried —I think she’s jokindkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf

Dad: What did you learn in school today?

Timmy: Not enough, I guess, ‘cus I gotta go back tomorrow.

What's the difference between me and a registered sex offender?

I am not registered.

Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals. In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky. The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud"

What do you call an lgbtq person getting grilled? lgbbq -not my joke

what do you call a rich Chinese person cha-ching

ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there

siri "I could not find anything for this question"

I asked my Dad the other day.."At what age is it ok to have sex with girls?"He replied "When they leave school son, they are legal" Apparently 3.15pm is not what he meant.

knock knock "who's their" not your dad