Not jokes
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
What do you call a not potty trained human?
Amber Heard.
Why do orphans hate any milk?
Their dad did not come back for 10 years. Oh, sorry, he got lost in the store! 🤧
Can bees fly in the rain?
Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!
I went to take out the trash, could not find you, so I went back in. The next day I found you.
Dark humor is like parents. Not everyone gets it.
What is a tree that does not exist?
A money tree.
Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!
Why would the chicken not cross the road?
Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)
I made a website for orphans.
It does not have a home page.
Kid: Knock knock!
Orphan: Who's there?
Kid: Not your parents XD
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, you idiot. He got nailed before he died!
What happens to Stephen Hawking when he logs in to his account on Google when it says, "I am not a robot?"
Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?
He was not worth keeping.
POV: It's a rapists' groupchat, not a joke section. And it's SAD.
Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time.
This is not really a joke, but it's a question.
If life is a movie, then is death life? Is we seeing the trailer right now?
Person: You're so ugly.
Me: You ugly.
Person: I'm not a mirror.
Me: And I'm not your reflection.
When it's not just a phase and you kill yourself to prove it.
I remember when I was a kid, I thought the world used to be colorless.
I was kinda right. They used to not let colors in a lot of areas.