Not jokes
Hi, are you even my sister?
Yes, I am.
No, you're not, because you never even existed as my sister.
Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.
Little Johnny has no arms. Knock, knock, who's there?
Not Johnny.
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
Are you my homework because I’m supposed to be doing you right now, but I’m not.
Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
Try not to <3.
Why did the skeleton not go to the party?
Guys, don’t suck your own dick, it does not feel like your dick is being sucked, it feels like you're sucking a dick.
I wanted to open a brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was, unfortunately, not so well received.
So, a few hours ago my friend said I need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes... like... it's really not that deep?
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"
What is gayer than man sex ring?
Not slapping the ass at Hooters.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they do not know where home is.
(Not an orphan joke).
Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale?
Because they've lost 2 towers.
Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.
Why do orphans not play baseball?
Because they don't know the way home!
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"
The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."
The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."