What do parents and dark humor have in common? Not everyone gets them.
Not Jokes
I was at the beach today, and there was a big wave.
Somebody went, "Damn, that crashed harder than the Twin Towers." Jack may have survived the towers, but not the crash.
I'm an orphan, please stop it. It's not nice and it made me cry.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
What's the difference between a retard and a normal person?
A normal person is not named Josh Wakling.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”
I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door, and it’s working fine!
Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!
Why was the noble gas not emo?
Because they were thinking RIGHT.
Dark jokes are like gay people, Not everyone likes them.
What's blue and bad for your teeth?
A green brick that's painted blue after the original paint dries (it takes a little while to dry), but after it dries you can paint it and then it will be green. If the brick is green it is called a green brick as it is green (not blue anymore) and it hurts your teeth because brick is a hard material that can damage the bones in your mouth (also known as your teeth).
What do you call an African that is not hungry? Dead.
You can sink the Titanic like you can drive a bike. Not a joke.
What do an orphan and an apple not have in common?
The apple actually gets picked.
What’s the best cure for not wanting to go to work?
Suicide.
Sorry to take your time today for a few minutes. We are cool, but not the best.
Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.
Son: Why, Dad?
Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.
Why do orphans eat breakfast with water?
The dad did not come home with the milk.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.
After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,
Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"
