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I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.

'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!

Like I said, it's really bad. :(

Why are there not that many phones in China? Because there’s too much Wing and Wong, so they will "wing" the wrong number.

What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"

Why did the orphan chase the family? Because he was jealous that he did not have a family.

I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"

And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"

And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.

One day you see a girl climb a pole and ask her, "Why are you climbing that pole?" "Because a boy paid me to." "He did that to see your underwear." "Oh. Ok."

The next day you see her do the same thing. "Why are you doing the same thing?" "Well, I got him this time. I did not wear underwear."

I have two things I wanna say:

1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.

2. wtf

I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.

I've got something better for all of you. I may not have found it, but Google "hottest sexiest women ever." Then you'll want them!

This picture is for bras! Comment or not and go to each one and comment! And go!

What do you say to a bully?

I might not be perfect, but at least I'm not you!

Stop with dumb orphan jokes, you dumb ass people!!!!!!!!!!

They're not funny one bit, so stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Teacher: I was an orphan when I was younger.

Student: Oof.

Teacher: Is anyone not here?

Student: Yes, your parents.

Orphan joke protest! If you think orphan jokes are bad and wrong, then comment good comments; if not, then just comment! Let's reach 67,000 good comments!

Mom, mom, I'm holding my little brother's hand..... Little Johnny, good! But he's not born yet.

Mom, Mom, I'm holding my little brother's hand.

Little Johnny, good! But he's not "bien" yet.