No one jokes
So I walked into my bathroom to clean some stuff, and no one ever told me you can't put phones in the bathtub!
Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Are you still a virgin?
If you do IT
With no one?
Why do orphans have no parents?
Because no one loves them.
You are adopted.
No cap. No one loves you.
Bye.
Me in group photo:
Why are you mad because no one wants to adopt me?
Why is an orphan good at being naughty?
Because they don't have no one to tell them off.
Alright, so I have a few orphan jokes. I'm gonna put them all in one message.
Why can't orphans be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Parent signature: ______
New teacher: I used to be an orphan as a kid. Students: hahaha Teacher: Is anyone missing? Students: No one, just your parents.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They kept calling everyone "daddy."
Why do orphans have the iPhoneX? Because it has no home button.
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles.
The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles!)
When I masturbate, things cum.
When an old man does, no one cums.
"Kill yourself. Stop thinking whether or not to do it, you dumb fucking cunt, no one likes you. Jump off a fucking 3 story building, bitch."
No one. Beyoncé said "To the left, to the left!" She really meant women have no rights.
Why is the orphan cold?
'Cause there's no one to cuddle with.
No one will fight me, who is brave and strong enough to beat this beta simp femboy?
Why can't orphans tell jokes?
They have no one to tell them to, people.
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
Riddle: A man killed his wife in his car with a knife, and no one could see him. He threw the body out of the car and threw the knife off a cliff. When he got home, the cops called the man and told him his wife was dead and to come to the scene of the crime. The man agreed and rushed to the scene. When he got there, the cops immediately arrested him. Why?
ANSWER: The cops never said where the scene of the crime is.
What is the difference between a pornstar and a mosquito?
No one stops sucking.
Say yes if you wanna fuck.
Shower thought: If everyone had schizophrenia, no one would know we had schizophrenia or know what it is!
We recently found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.
No one is taking it harder than grandpa.