No one

No one jokes

Headphone

That moment when you think the music is loud enough to fart and no one would notice, but then you realize that you have headphones on.

Orphan

What do an orphan and a homeless person have in common?

They have no one to call "Dad."

Coronavirus

Last night I had the strangest dream!

I sailed away to China!

And I caught the coronavirus!

You said you needed to wash your hands!

Didn't want no one else to touch you! What does that mean?!

And you said!!

Ain't nothing gonna break my lungs 😤!

Ain't no way of slowing Covid down!

Oh no I've got to keep on coughing!!!

Threesome

Gregg says to his friend, who is a girl, and says, "Hey, umm, do you, umm, want to do something?"

And the girl says, "Umm, sure, why not?"

Gregg says, "Well, then we have to go somewhere secretive."

The girl says, "Umm, well, ok."

Gregg says, "Great!" So Gregg brings Sally to a tree so no one can see them, and then Sally says, "So what are we going to do behind this big tree?"

Gregg says, "Well pull down your pants, and I'll show ya."

Sally says, "Ok, it sounds fun!" And then Gregg pulls his pants down and tells Sally to lay on the ground. Then he puts his dick in Sally's pussy, and he goes up and down, up and down, up and down, and then Sally starts to moan more and more, and then suddenly a teacher hears her moan, and then the teacher sees what Gregg and Sally are doing, and then the teacher gets in on it, and both Gregg and Sally start fucking the teacher, and then the teacher moans, and then the whole school makes their own sex groups, and the whole school has threesomes...

THE END

  • 0
  • Orphan

    Gay orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "daddy," and lesbian orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "mommy."

    Pterodactyl

    Literally no one: Why can't you hear the pterodactyl?

    Random person: I don't know.

    No one: BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT!

    Random person: Ha, cool, I guess.

    Ketchup

    The ketchup told a joke. No one was laughing, but the egg was cracking up!

    Permission

    I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.

    No one goes in there without my permission!

    Orphan

    The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.

    The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.

    Wheelchair

    A person with a wheelchair makes a joke. No one laughs.

    Inner thought: "Wheely Manerva, wheely."

    Scar

    My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.