No one jokes

Why is Transgender Day of Visibility on April Fool's Day?

Because all trannies are clowns and no one takes them seriously.

Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.

The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!

Go drop-kick an orphan. No one will know, not like his parents would know.

When your friend asks why you don't smile, then you look at them and realize no one is there because you have no friends. #my life

You are adopted.

No cap. No one loves you.

Bye.

When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."

A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs.

"For the last time, Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!"

The man with glasses frowns.

"Where did all the others go, then?"

Why is the orphan cold?

'Cause there's no one to cuddle with.

Hippity hoppity, you are no one's property.

Why can't orphans tell jokes?

They have no one to tell them to, people.

Your mama is so far that when she told a joke, no one was laughing, but the floor was literally cracking up.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her driver's test.

Mom: "Okay, any questions?"

Sara: "Yes. I actually don't know what "yield" means."

Mom: "Don't worry, Hon. No one does."

I've been looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer for the past two years.

But no one would do it.

In India, 3 things are wide and far everywhere, but no one admits: racism, sexism, and Sunny's jism.

Why can’t orphans be gay?

They have no one to call "daddy".

Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.

Class: no one stands up.

Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room*

Little Johnny: *stands up*

Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?

Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.

Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.

I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!

Why can’t balls move? Because no one is there to voice them around.

Why did the orphan die on the road? Because they had no one to hold their hand.