No One Jokes

why cant orphan be gay because they have no one to call daddy

My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it says like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.

What’s an orphan’s least favourite drink?

Milk. Because no one came back with any.

Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan* No one: Literally no one: Me:Time to make his life hell😈

We recently found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.

No one is taking it harder than grandpa.

No one has my back like my dad

He’s so short no one can see you very close by

This year the London marathon was ran on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!!!

But you could get plastic surgery and look 20 years younger, with that, no one will suspect you!

Why can't men play baseball? Because no one can take the word "balls" seriously anymore.

why are orphans good at dodge ball no one misses them

Hey guys! I'm back! Sorry I didn't post yesterday! I had swim parctice, and a bunch of hw, but here I am! And here is the quote of the day!

Push yourself, because no one will do it for you.

Love y'all so much!

Me how do you you celebrate Christmas Orphan I don't know what you mean Me there is no one to give present

For all those Simpsons fans out there this one I'm sure you know Abe: It's rotten being old. No one listens to you Lisa: It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you Homer: I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me-- no matter how dumb my suggestions are

i told a joke at a funeral but no one laughed, one mf was ded tho💀

If I was a poo I’d be the one that gets stuck to the bottom of the shitter when no one wants ya xox

LEGO Ninjago - I like it okay?

Which of the ninja would be best for an undercover mission as the person in disguise?

Kai. He just has to leave his hair down and no one would know it was him (he uses hair gel as Cole has said a couple times I think, bc his hair looks like fire 🔥)

Little Johnny and his mom were sitting in church one day, when suddenly Johnny said,"Mom I think I'm gonna throw up" Then his mom said, "Go across the field and into the bushes, hopefully no one will see you there". Johnny comes back a minute later and his mom asks,"Did you make it?", then Johnny said,"No, but there was a box by the door that SAID For The Sick"

so a guy gets a motorcycle with authentic leather seats and the dealer tells him ‘dude the rain will ruin the seats get it under something if it starts raining and worst case scenario put vaseline all over the seats to make it water proof’. so he goes to his girlfriend house that night for dinner and before he goes inside she says ‘listen this is your first time meeting your parents we have a rule, the first one to speak has to do the dishes’. so he walks inside and sees a mountain of dishes over 3 months because no one has spoken and the stench is awful. during dinner he concocted a plan to get someone to speak so he started doing all of this crazy shit to try and get someone to speak. not a peep eventually he grabs his girlfriend bends her over and starts going to town. still nothing the parents are outraged but not speaking because they don’t want to do the dishes. after about a minute of this he walks away and does the same to her mum and starts going to town. now the dad is pissed and just staring him down with daggers. at that moment it starts to rain his motorcycle is out in the rain and grabs the vaseline out of his pack pocket and the dad goes ‘FINE ILL DO THE DISHES’