No one jokes
One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my Catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closet, being a pedo.
When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours, I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa, she beat the hell outta him.
Serves him right.
Who does an orphan play soccer with?
No one.
What do an orphan and a homeless person have in common?
They have no one to call "Dad."
That moment when you think the music is loud enough to fart and no one would notice, but then you realize that you have headphones on.
No, no, no, no. Spot the intruder.
There's no one.
Memes
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
No one is smart. I am smart.
Why don’t orphans play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
Last night I had the strangest dream!
I sailed away to China!
And I caught the coronavirus!
You said you needed to wash your hands!
Didn't want no one else to touch you! What does that mean?!
And you said!!
Ain't nothing gonna break my lungs 😤!
Ain't no way of slowing Covid down!
Oh no I've got to keep on coughing!!!
Gregg says to his friend, who is a girl, and says, "Hey, umm, do you, umm, want to do something?"
And the girl says, "Umm, sure, why not?"
Gregg says, "Well, then we have to go somewhere secretive."
The girl says, "Umm, well, ok."
Gregg says, "Great!" So Gregg brings Sally to a tree so no one can see them, and then Sally says, "So what are we going to do behind this big tree?"
Gregg says, "Well pull down your pants, and I'll show ya."
Sally says, "Ok, it sounds fun!" And then Gregg pulls his pants down and tells Sally to lay on the ground. Then he puts his dick in Sally's pussy, and he goes up and down, up and down, up and down, and then Sally starts to moan more and more, and then suddenly a teacher hears her moan, and then the teacher sees what Gregg and Sally are doing, and then the teacher gets in on it, and both Gregg and Sally start fucking the teacher, and then the teacher moans, and then the whole school makes their own sex groups, and the whole school has threesomes...
THE END
Gay orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "daddy," and lesbian orphans don't exist cuz they have no one to call "mommy."
Literally no one: Why can't you hear the pterodactyl?
Random person: I don't know.
No one: BECAUSE THEY ARE EXTINCT!
Random person: Ha, cool, I guess.
Why do orphans miss every hit? Because no one is cheering for them.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.
The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.
Do you know why orphans don't have parents?
Because no one raised you.
Why aren't orphans gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
A person with a wheelchair makes a joke. No one laughs.
Inner thought: "Wheely Manerva, wheely."
I was absolutely fuming when I found out my mate was rifling through my mum's knicker drawer.
No one goes in there without my permission!
The ketchup told a joke. No one was laughing, but the egg was cracking up!