Newness jokes
Aaaah, I really wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor...
I really need some new parts to my go-kart.
Did you know that McDonald's have a new McScully burger?
It's a 59-year-old piece of meat in a 2-year-old bun.
Me in 2078 when the COVID-19 delta alpha theta beta cya layta alligayta nlgga chungus sussy deef clussy sussy bussy cunnybrap variant comes out and I need to stay in lockdown for another 2 years with my new mandated virus stopper buttplug 9000.
I love my new phone.
Brings a whole new meaning to brotherly love.
Memes
Tried a random comic generator. Half of the ai generated comics don’t make sense, but the other half…
Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.
Mom: Did you finish your homework?
Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.
Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.
Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!
Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.
Son: That was cruel!
Dear Victims... äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building... äh Amazing City. There's online, but 2000 there were two Towers... äh Restaurants. We hijack the plane... äh Hi Jack. Jack is my co-pilot, and I said hello. Don‘t scream... History Repea... äh... History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport. 💀
Like a work film, to take new in the center.
More good, Tar de Spring is the mill Murray Hurlowar Skelett Dwight Dowl - for its general help!
What's Osama bin Laden's favorite football team? New York Jets!!!
Person 1: "Hey, I created a new word!"
Person 2: "What is it?"
Person 1: "Plagiarism!"
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?
Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.
Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!
Stacy: lol
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
Idaho... Alaska!
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Osama bin Laden
Got like 2,997 kills, damn, that's a new record!
The death of JFK must have splattered on the news.
ISIS recently brought out a new shampoo.
Head and Shoulders!
I asked Daveon if he ever considered trying something new, and he replied "why fix what ain't broke?"
Did you hear about the new doggy condos?
Apparently they are now releasing!
Hey! Guess what? I created a new word!
Plagiarism!