Worst Jokes Ever
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
It's way too soon for Kobe jokes.
They never land well.
Yo mama so old, her photos are in a museum and her friends are in a graveyard.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
Scientists found water on Mars, mars-1 africa-0.
I can't think of any jokes.
1 like = 1 more orphan I dropkick.
My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.
Woman: "I want coffee, black."
Cop: *takes out gun* "WHERE?!"
What do Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common?
They both are plastic and like kids.
Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?
What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.
P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
Why did the chef go get the eggs? Because eggs are egg-tastic!
Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her… so I said yes.
Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
What’s a zebra? A few sizes bigger than an A.
I’m not a hard drinker. I actually find it pretty easy.
My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.