Worst Jokes Ever
How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.
Woman aren't human anyways... lol.
Why can't 12 boys go down the elevator? Because they have nothing to press the buttons.
What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar?
It becomes a flee market.
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention?
Don't get carried away!
Are suicide bombers taught properly how to fly, or...
Are they just given a quick crash course?
How do you know all suicide bombers self-identify as being old?
They are all boomers in the end.
Your forehead got a restraining order from your hairline.
What's a suicide bomber's biggest fear?
Dying alone.
Where do terrorists go for a drink?
At the Allahu-ak Bar.
What did the terrorist do when his kidneys failed?
Dial-ISIS!
When I was in middle school, I was kidnapped by a terrorist organization.
Al-gebra.
"Hey, today was great!"
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car!"
The reason they attacked the towers is because the terrorists thought the towers were giant middle fingers pointed at them. What silly saudis!
HELP! I MIGHT BE A RELIGIOUS EXTREMIST BECAUSE MY RHYMES ARE DA BOMB.
"That driving backwards, it creeping me out, you're gonna wreck or something." - Lightning McQueen.
Because that is what could have saved Titanic, and it wrecked.
Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
The cemetery is so crowded, people are just dying to get in.
Dark humor is like water, some people get it, some people don’t.