Worst Jokes Ever
Uber driver: .........
Me: .........
Uber driver: .........
Me: 5 stars.
What do u call a Chinese man with one leg?
Tie-wan-sho.
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
What do the initials POOP stand for?
Polacks Order Our Poop. 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩 💩
My cousin: “How’s the lemonade stand supposed to run when you’re at softball practice?!”
Me: “Lemonade stands can’t run, dufus.”
Guys, we need to stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents might get upset. Oh, wait... never mind.
Does money grow on trees? No.
What is money made of? Paper.
What is paper made out of? Trees!
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
What’s a vacuum cleaner’s favorite plant?
Answer: SUCCulent
Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.
What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?
Getting to kill the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.
I could have sworn while watching anime I saw an American Boeing B-29 Superfortress in the background dropping bombs!
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg?
TY-WON-SHO
(Tie one shoe)
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form consists of only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You make me pee like I drink tea, you make me go buzz, like becoming a fuzz.
It sticks in, but it goes to the bin, after its use, it will be reused, no it is not what your thinking its -~-(clay)-~-
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You look like Shrek, And you make me peck.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I need your peach, and I'll torture you with a speech.
Roses are red... blood is too... I wonder how blood would look on you.
I'm in the year 1930...
The Great Depression.
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!