Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
Worst Jokes Ever
A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.
Dark humor is like water; not everyone gets it.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
The Titanic is now a resort for fish.
If a fat person were to go on a flying car, it will just be at the ground. When they exit, it will just fly up.
How many people do you need to change a lightbulb?
Three. The first holds the ladder, the second one holds the lightbulb, and the third one spins the ladder.
Your hairline is so pushed back, it's looking like it got slapped up by Will Smith.
Sunday was a sad day, but yesterday was a sadder day.
1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.
Why were the twin towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead they got plain.
GOOD MORNING USA!!!! I GOT A FEELING THAT IVE SEEN A FUCKIN NlGGER TODAY!!!
Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?
Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."
What do you call Hitler speeding?
The Fast and the Fuherous.
Bad Hitler puns are infuhrerating.
Hitler walks into his meeting room, turns to his trusted staff, and says, “I want you to organize the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten.”
Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up. “Mein Fuhrer, why do you want to kill a kitten?”
Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table. “You see, no one cares about the Jews.”
It's just been discovered that as well as writing a book, Adolf Hitler also wrote one of the first computer games, "Mein Kraft."
What's Hitler's favorite letter? Not Z.
"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler."
"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.
So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"
