Worst Jokes Ever
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
Why did the chef go get the eggs? Because eggs are egg-tastic!
Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her... so I said yes.
Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
What’s a zebra? A few sizes bigger than an A.
I’m not a hard drinker. I actually find it pretty easy.
My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.
Why shouldn’t you play cards in Africa?
'Cause there’s too many cheetahs.
Roses are red, I wish you were dead.
Roses are red, My cat try to kill your next >:)
I hate nightmares.
Someone asked me to go to hell, so I drove to my local middle school.
Like if you are straight; comment if you are LGBTQ+; dislike if you are a Nazi.
Why don't orphans get dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
A man walks in a bar. Ouchie!
What kind of flour do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising flour.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he could call someone Father.
How do you stop a baby from crawling? Nail its hand to the floor.
The daughter walks up to her father and asks him, "Dad, can I ask you something?"
The father says, "Of course, what's your question?"
The daughter replies and asks, "How do you feel about abortion?"
The father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?"
The daughter replies, "I don't have a sis-"