Worst Jokes Ever

Hey kids, guess who started a micronation?

It’s Barney and Trump. They don’t let gays in, but they kill them.

What do you call a very long bowl?

Manute Bowl.

Urban areas are filled with terrorists, feminists, liberals, and murderers. Which one is not like the others? Murderers because they don't pretend to have a cause.

Me: Spanish teacher, why do we need to learn Spanish?

Teacher: Because you might go to Mexico and start a job.

Me: Why would I want to sell drugs?

What the when what yeah what yeah then uh huh?

Boy, your forehead so big, I can make a launchpad on that shit!

I came across a dead body in the woods. I liked it so much I came again.

You twin towers because I'm tryna ram in you tonight.

Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?

They're still hanging.

What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?

The elevator can raise a family.

No, it's not just a crotch grab. Jacko was jacking it on stage when he saw a 6-year-old boy in the front row.

How do you get Wacko Jacko to come inside your shop? Have little boys' pants half off!

I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40-year-old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.

I was crying when my dad was cutting onions.

Onions was such a good dog.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.

What did the titanic say as it was sinking?

I nominate all the passengers to the ice bucket challenge.

I have many jokes about unemployed people--sadly, none of them work.

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words.

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

How are an orphan and baseball different from each other?

A baseball game has a home run.

When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.