Worst Jokes Ever
What does a middle aged man live in?
A retarded kid he keeps in the van.
My science teacher was talking about natural selection.
At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.
If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."
Blame Austria for creating Hitler, who we know today. He failed art school.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome.
Q: What did people say when Kim Kardashian was at the beach?
A: Stop littering!
Yo hairline so long, it makes you look like Mr. Clean.
Yo mama so fat, she walked by the TV and I missed 12 episodes!
Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?
Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?
A person with a wheelchair and a football, then they are Rocket League.
Your hairline is so far back, even Vegeta laughed at it!
What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?
Neither of them can see or hear their parents.
I swear I always finish on page 3 when I'm looking at family pictures.
Don't do suicide, that shit kills.
What's a Ninja's worst fear?
Garmadon actually winning.
ehgrfvrgoruhgvliufrhkehgv.li
In preschool, I confessed my love to my crush, and she rejected me. As heartbroken as I was, I sucked it up and went back to teaching.
What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?
It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Why do men get great ideas in bed?
'Cause they are plugged into a genius!
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
My boyfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of his Honda Civic, but I refused. If I’m going to have sex, it’s going to be on my own Accord.