Why were the twin towers fighting?
Because they ordered pepperoni, but they got plain.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
If I wanted to hear beeping, I wouldn’t have pulled my grandma’s cord to live.
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
I'd tell a 9/11 joke, but it would crash and burn.
So if you say a bear shoots children, and Leah likes Mason Boswells, and I go to Benjamin Adlard year 6.
Anybody who doesn't like Pepsi is a Coke-sucker!
A rich guy and a poor guy have their wedding anniversary on the same day. They meet each other at the shopping complex.
The poor guy asks the rich guy, "What'd you get for your wife today?"
The rich guy replies, "I got her a diamond ring and a Mercedes."
The poor guy asks, "Why did you get two gifts for her?"
The rich guy says, "If she doesn't like the diamond ring, then she can return it in her Mercedes."
The rich guy asks the poor guy, "What'd you get for your wife?"
The poor guy says, "I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo."
The rich guy asks, "Why did you get two gifts for her?"
The poor guy says, "If she doesn't like the slippers, then she can go f*** herself."
Yo mama so fat, when she went on the weighing scale, it said, "To be continued."
Yo mama so fat, when she went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."
What do you call a Deranged Psychotic Woman with a Stupid Hairdo?
Answer: Keri Lake!
What is a redneck virgin?
Answer: A seven-year-old that can run faster than her brothers!
You're so poor that when you walked into an elevator, you thought it was a mobile home.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jets versus towers, USA lost two.
Why was ten scared? Because it was between 9/11.
If an apple and a depressed kid fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? The apple.
The kid just hangs there.
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.
Sometimes I wish my grass was depressed, then it would just cut itself.
Conservatives hate Barack Obama and transgender people for the same exact reason.
They hate change.
How can Canada be one of the most educated countries when Canadians are unable to correctly spell "analyse", "programme", and "aluminium"?
