Worst Jokes Ever
Your hairline is so far back, even the Flintstones knew of it.
They call me Mr. Distracted, truly a spastic. Can't talk to my folks cause they say I'm pro- problematic. Really fantastic. Can't focus unless I take meds then it's magic. My brain is like traffic, always fucking active. But never at the right time, pretty fucking tragic it happens.
Yo mama must be a giant, 'cause my Mini P.E.K.K.A. goes berserk on her!
Your mum is a Rune Giant.
Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.
Ahmed is "bombuni guisisni" and Marcus is "bombardilo crocodilo" because Ahmed was late to the plane party and Marcus was first.
Why is Ahmed gay? Because he created 9/11. Hahahahahahahhahahahahaa
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
USA: "Never forget 9/11."
Brits: "What happened on the 9th of November?"
World leaders are so old, they've got nostalgia for the Cambrian explosion.
My face when “Free Palestine” wasn’t a sales deal.
You're so slow, the sped kid is your tutor.
The best and worst part about being bi:
Best: Double the love, double the fun.
Worst: Double the love, double the loneliness.
In the Robocide, Explain Bear is the first to go.
What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.
Explain Bear teaches us that explaining the joke makes it a billion times funnier.
Fuck clankers. Wait, not like that.
Smoking a fag in Britain: 🚬
Smoking a fag in America: hate crime.
They're teaching my 1st grader pronouns! Today it was he/she/they. Tomorrow, you/are/is!
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."