Worst Jokes Ever
Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?
Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? -- Just Juan.
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? -- Well, the flag is a big plus.
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? -- All of them, skyscrapers can't jump.
Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You stop milking a cow after 15 years.
What do you call a walkie-talkie for retards? -- A stumblie-mumblie.
If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she's a little tardy?
I can't stand being in a wheelchair.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Bananana!
Why did Beethoven have trouble finding a music teacher? Because his teacher was Haydn.
I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard, she turned Christian.
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have?
Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? -- It was a noble gas.