Worst Jokes Ever
Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."
What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
- There's 20 of them.
What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?
A vowel movement.
Why does Jesus never vacation on Earth?
Because he traveled down about 2,000 years ago, got with some Jewish chick, and they're still talking about it!
Why is there no open hunting season on hippies?
Have you ever tried to clean one?
My life.
As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.
Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.
What do you call a nervous Jedi?
Panakin.
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and settles on their land.
What do you call a short black person?
By their name, you racist!
What's the best part of dating a homeless girl?
You can drop her off anywhere.
Which sex position produces the ugliest children?
Go ask your mother.
I was asked to give a bicycle joke, but I couldn't...
I was two tired.
Dark humor is like food.
Not everyone gets it.
Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?
He got inked up.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile.
I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.
"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.
"Boxing?"
"No, ... hurdles."
I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."
I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"