Worst Jokes Ever
Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.
A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" After that he joined the Army and learned to say, "Yes sir!" After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows:
Policeman: "Who killed the man?" Foreign man: "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" Policeman: "Did you kill the man?" Foreign man: "Yes sir!" Policeman: "What did you use to kill him?" Foreign man: "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" Policeman: "You're under arrest." Foreign man: "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.
What do most disabled people eat?
Their arm.
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
Knock knock.
Boo.
No need to cry, it was only a joke. Yeh, I can't think of anything.
I trained a wolf to meditate, so now she's aware-wolf.
Q: What's the best way to eat a squirrel?
A: Open up its little legs.
When the grass is bloody, You play in the mud...
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
To be brutally honest, I think his wife let him die for money, because they could just plug him back in. Surely they have an Android cable about?
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? Nine.
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can watch the expression on their face.
A blind man is going for a walk. Eventually, he reaches a fish market.
He yells, "Hello ladies!"
"9/11 was just a really intense game of Jenga."
Why is Santa’s sack so big?
Because he only comes once a year.
How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby!
I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.
Déjà Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.