Worst Jokes Ever
My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.
A robot walks into a bar and orders a martini.
The bartender is flabbergasted that a robot can do that.
"New around here?" said the bartender.
"Nah, been here a while," said the robot.
Bartender "You can talk?"
Robot "Yeah, pretty cool, huh."
Bartender "Why do you want a martini?"
Robot "Oh, I'm just in the mood for one, you know?"
The bartender is shocked to see a robot making completely normal small talk.
The robot seems to be just like a normal human.
"Wow, who programmed you?" asked the bartender.
"The top minds in the world," said the robot.
The robot speaks again, "I have a question for you..."
Bartender, "What?"
"Why did you read this entire story? It does not have a punchline. I just wasted your time. Get bamboozled, nerd!"
NEWS: A man kidnapped a 13-year-old girl.
MOM OF GIRL: The man had a shady face and a receding hairline.
Do you know what the F in orphan is for...
Family.
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
What do you call a teenage boy who doesn’t masturbate?
A liar.
What part of the vegetable is the hardest to eat? The wheelchair.
I walked in on my dad fucking my little brother. I don't know what was worse: the fact that he was fucking my brother, or the fact that the abortion clinic let my parents take the fetus home....
Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.
TV: Water found on Mars...
Mars: 1
Africa: 0
Christopher's Mom said, "One man's trash is another man's treasure."
Turns out Christopher was adopted.
Why did I give an orphan the iPhone X?
Because it is the first one without a home button.
Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.
Bob has no arms.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"It's not Bob."
This is a joke. Laugh now or else.
People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"
"Yeah, over my dead body!"
What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
"Room, you on."
Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims?
Because they've already been roasted!
Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!