Worst Jokes Ever
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Where did Alice go during the explosion?
Everywhere.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get ran over by a truck.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The butt.
The butt who?
The butt goes mooooo!
When you think your mom's a virgin, then you stumble into the wrong closet.
It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus.
What do you call a girl with no legs? Sarah.
What do you call an Olympic gold medalist skiing? Not Sarah.
Q. What do you call a Mexican Jedi?
A. a PadaJuan.
Q: What do you call a religious Wookie?
A: Jewbacca.
"Kill yourself. Stop thinking whether or not to do it, you dumb fucking cunt, no one likes you. Jump off a fucking 3 story building, bitch."
I eat ass.
Wanna hear a racist joke?...
Donald Trump.
Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner."
The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus.
The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz.
The third lady says, "I never had a husband."
The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo."
They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying.
The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse."
"How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"
How did Stephen Hawking really die?
His wife grounded him from using electronics and unplugged everything!
When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.
Oof.
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.
I’m so annoyed by those people who just believe in anything they hear. This is a conversation I had a few days ago.
Idiot: "The moon landing was faked! So unbelievably fake!" Me: "You believe in the moon? Stupidass."
What's Yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of dead babies.