Worst Jokes Ever
You are so small that you play hockey against the curb!
Diarrhea.
Gamemaster10
Why is the wheel the best invention?
Because it's wheely wheely great!
What is an astronaut's favorite part of a keyboard?
The SPACE BAR!
What is the one feature an orphan kid's phone doesn't have that mine does?
A home button.
Why did the skeleton run away from the crime scene?
He didn't have the guts to see it.
My puns drive people nuts; this is usually when I bolt away.
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
My brackets are so high on my teeth, they must be smoking something.
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor.
Police: Where is your neighbor’s house?
Me: If I tell you, you won’t believe me.
Police: Tell me.
Me: Next to my house.
Stephen Hawking must have got a MacBook Pro. End of battery.
There are 5 cows in a field. One of them is the mom, the rest are kids. One of the kids walked up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Daisy?" and then a daisy fell on her head.
The second cow came up to the mom and asked, "Why am I named Rose?" and then a rose fell on her head. Then the 3rd cow said, "Why am I named Violet?" then a violet fell on her head. Then the 4th cow walked up and said, "Merrrbere." Then the mom said, "Shutup, cinder block!"
What's tall, has a twin, and is in Manhattan?
Nothing, Bin Laden destroyed them all.
Will: Let's bring Hannibal a gift today!
Beverly: Yeah, I bet he’d love that!
Will: Yey!
Beverly: What should we bring him?
Will: *holds up a bucket and knife with an insane looking smile* Come in the bucket!
Did you hear about the monkeys that share an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
Haha, yeet my fuckin' meat!
What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing. They just waved.
Did you sea what I did there?
I hit my friend.
He's dead now.
Why do women like Pac-Man so much?
How else can you get eaten three times for a quarter?