Worst Jokes Ever
When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.
And into a children's birthday party.
What's the difference between 20 and 14?
9 to 10 years.
When you're going 80 mph and hit a speed bump,
Then the speed bump starts screaming.
What is a female gamer's favorite part of the controller?
The joystick.
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
What did the girl say when she ran through the door?
Ouch.
Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Person: Why?
Me: Because he wanted to.
Me, holding a baby: "Oh my God, it's so cute!"
Also me: "Throw it."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
I don't know, either. It depends on how hard you throw them.
How do you get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
Doritos.
What's a Latino's favorite sport? Lacrosse.
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
What's the best way to get them out?
A blender.
My sister said, "Daddy can you pass the salt?" So I raped her.
I was walking, and I saw an orphan, and I said, "Where are your parents?"
A man and a cow are stuck on train tracks, and there is a train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does he save, the man or the cow?
Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.
dfg.
If hi = hi?
One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"
Women should be allowed to leave the kitchen... to clean the rest of the house.
Never buy an epileptic kid light-up Sketchers.