Worst Jokes Ever
This guy is boiling water. The girl walks in and says, “What are you doing?” The guy says, “I’m making Holy Water.” She said, “How?” He said, “I’m boiling the hell out of it.”
What’s the most artistic fruit?
Vincent mango.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Yeah, he's all right now.
"I don't want to go on my at-home history."
- My friend, anon 2019.
"Sweet victory" fans: Fuck the NFL. They should be disbanded!
Harvey Weinstein: I raped five girls, and the NFL was one of them.
A blind man walked into a bar, and a table, and a chair.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
My life.
My life who?
My life is depressing...
What did one mountain say to the other? Nice to peak you!
Me: "I came home laughing."
Parents: "What's wrong?"
Me: "The teacher asked everyone a question. Luckily, I was the only one who knew."
Parents: "Good for you, Johnny. What was the fantastic question your teacher gave everyone and only you knew?"
Me: "Well, it's kinda complicated, but here it goes."
Parents: "What is it?"
Me: "Who farted?"
IX + X = XXI. So XXI is two legions into one.
I forgot what lightning was. Then it struck me.
Here's a good tree joke to spruce up your day!
I hear coal mining is a rock-bottom job.
My girlfriend said, "GIMME EIGHT INCHES AND MAKE IT HURT!"
So I pumped my dick in her 4 times and hit her in the head with a brick.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A bi-racial car wreck.
An Irishman, Englishman, and Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness.
Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints.
The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away, and demands another pint.
The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.
The Irishman reaches into the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers, and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"
Son: Dad, do you remember your first blowjob?
Dad: Ohhh yeah, I do!
Son: How did it taste?
Dad: Get out.
Asian pregnancy test: Stick a Rubik cube into vagina. Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
Wanna know why Stephen Hawking died?
He lost his Wi-Fi connection.
What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?
A tongue workout!