Worst Jokes Ever
Stephen Hawking died because he rolled too far from the outlet.
Whenever you think back to 9/11 and realize there are 12 hours in front of us, why the f*ck didn't they warn us?
How can you make a orphans hand bleed?
Real them to clap until there parent come home.
Person 1: Hi, I am Tom, and you?
Person 2: Andrew?
The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...
The cat still died, why?
It had a Catastrophic Catcident.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess.
His family is nuts.
His neighbor is an asshole.
His best friend is a pussy.
And his owner beats him.
Corn flake.
Why didn't the chair cross the road? Because it was a chair.
We don't have school shooters; we have special ed breeches.
What did Connor Lys Clark say to Karl Kassulke? "I love bridges!"
I told my friend to watch Naruto. It's been a week since I've seen him. Hope he comes back in one piece.
Why is there bullying? They can handle it by themselves.
I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but it eventually came back to me.
NASA = Not Africa North America. That's what NASA stands for.
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.
Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”
Once the aliens was gonna have a party, they had to planet.
Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.
One weekend some distant family members that I hadn't met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn't met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help).
My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes and told me they both ended up dying.
Well, SO-RRY, but I didn't know they were conjoined twins.
Gun + Backpack = Fun!
Did you know my grandpa was part of World War 2? He killed Hitler.