Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.
When the police caught him stealing the batteries, he got immediately charged!
Kid's uncle: "Your mum said you can have your friends round tonight! But I'm gonna have to baby sit today."
Kid: "OK THANK YOU."
(AT BED TIME)
Kid: "Please may you stop touching my leg BEN!"
Ben: "I'm not."
(Turns light on) Kid: "UNCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME!!!"
Q: Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to the countryside?
A: There’s no signal.
What’s the only type of batteries that they use in prisons? Duracell.
Why did the baseball player go to jail?
Because he stole first base.
The only reason Stephen Hawking died was because he saw the end.
"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.
Why did I shoot my dog?
Because it pissed me offff! Ahhhhhahahahahahahahahaha! 👌👌😎
Yesnt.
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Coming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry? - Adam?
- Can you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!
Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Heehheehehehehehehe
To get to the other side. Ahaahahahahahahahahahahaa!
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack! 🤣😂🤣
I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.
They brought it over but spilled it on me.
I said that was a udder failure!
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
A: Blue cheese.
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"John."
"John who?"
John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse.
Your dad must be a mailman.
Mozart doesn't care if Bach is better than him; at least he puts a lot of emotion [into his music and] he makes people happy.
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Why do brides wear white?
So they match the kitchen appliances.