Worst Jokes Ever
My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
What is 14 inches long and starts with D?
A Dookie From GREEN DAY
What do you get when you cross a pig with a dinosaur?
Jurassic Park.
There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says he's gay. He can't be though... he's allergic to nuts!
I’m a clown...
And everyone knows.
I make chemistry jokes periodically.
What do you do with a dead scientist?
You barium.
Two drunk men spot a pig on some old farmer's land.
And they were real hungry (or so they said), and they both decided to take the pig with them into their car and eat it somewhere.
And so they did, and the farmer came out with a gun while they hurriedly drove off, and the farmer said, "Well goddammit, if it was a pig they wanted, why didn't they just take my wife?"
How did they know the teacher onboard the spaceship had dandruff?
Cause her Head and Shoulders were everywhere!
What did the cow jump over?
The Moon.
Girlfriend: Am I pretty or ugly?
Boyfriend: You're both!
Girlfriend: What do you mean by that?
Boyfriend: You're pretty ugly!!!
Teacher: Kids, what does a chicken give you?
Students: Eggs.
Teacher: Very good. Now, what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon.
Teacher: Excellent. Now, what does the fat cow give you?
Kids: Homework.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words:
Alahu-Akbar.
What do you call a cow?
A cow!
Gay person to girl: What’s your favorite planet?
Girl: Penus-(penis)(venus), and what is yours?
Gay person: What else, it's Your Anus (Uranus)!😅
A dad asked his son what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday, and he replied, "How about a urinal cake?!"
A man takes his dog out and steps in shit. He exclaims "WHAT THE DEUCE!"
Your momma's so depressed, she shot herself in the head hoping she'd die.
What did Cinderella leave at the ball?
Her virginity.
Ryan.