Worst Jokes Ever
DEEZ NUTS
GOTTEM!
Why do you want me?
Cus u like me...
What do you mean?
You love me.
No.
Look down.
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
How do you turn your dog into a watchdog?
Get it a Rolex!
A clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.
What is the difference between eating a baby and a doughnut?
Babies are healthier.
Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.
Why did the skeleton eat tacos?
Because he was hungry.
I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up literally everything.
(This isn't really a joke btw anyway.) SpongeBob, me boy, ye ruptured me intestines with that massive c*ck of yours, agahgahagahagahagah!
I don't want to die.
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.
3 men go to hell. Satan says if you can question me and I can't answer, you go to heaven.
The first man asks if Satan knew how to make computers. He goes to hell. The next man asks if he knew how to make furniture. He goes too. The third man pokes a ton of holes in a bottle cap and farts in the bottle, asks Satan where the fart came from. Satan said every possible answer and the man pointed to his butthole and said "nope this one"😂
A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.
"Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.
"Heard of what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Of course I've heard of cows."
"No, a cow herd."
"What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"
People generalize others too much.
Make America hate again.
How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?
Your dog is gone. ;)
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
What did the kid say to the toilet?
"Did you order a number two because I got one ready for you?"