Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
One's a busy ditch.
What is black and blue and really hates sex?
The six-year-old in my basement.
If only Karen Carpenter had eaten Mama Cass's sandwich...
How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
You
You
You're the cow.
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
American says: "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..."
Sardar ji says: "Accha, India me to shaadi.....Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"
Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"
What do you say to your partner with diabetes?
Hey, sugar!
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"
"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"
"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx
I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.
What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts.
What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?
A Lymphomaniac.
Why did piglet go to the bathroom?
To search for Poo.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I finally had to take his bike away.
How do chemists laugh?
HeHe.