Worst Jokes Ever

I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that?" She replied, "I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood."

An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.

The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

'Cause it was stapled to the chicken.

Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you ;)

Say "Mike Wizowski" fast to a teenager and I will get you $100000000000.

"Suck my sugar, honey, it's very sweet and juicy."

What has 10 wheels and flies? A garbage truck.

When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.

What is black and white?

Probably Mexican history.

What's the best part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.

Whenever I’m bored, I hit up my local orphanage and beat some of them up.

I mean honestly, what are they going to do, tell their parents? 😂😂

I was going from Germany to Austria, and I accidentally crossed the border illegally. When the police caught me, they told me I was a Nazi. I asked them, "Why?" They said I didn't see the border.

One day a cow ate a fish.

What came out the other side?

A dead fish.

If you don't like the video in 10 seconds, James Charles will sleep with you tonight.

What did the skeleton say when he fell on his funny bone? He laughed!

I love working with animals, especially when I get to hear their cries of help.

A guy tells his pal, "My wife is expecting. We're going to the clinic to see if it's a girl or a boy."

"Congrats, man. What are you gonna name it if it's a boy?"

"We're going with Trevor."

"Ok, what if it's a girl?"

"Then we'll have an abortion."

My mom told me that she and the owner of a Chinese restaurant made a deal. Now we get free Chinese food. So I ask my mom why do we get free Chinese food? Then my mom said, "I love him long time."

What did the pirate say to Argon?

Ar!

I named my dog "5 miles" so when I walk him, I can say I walked 5 miles.

Random guy: I ran over 5 miles.