Worst Jokes Ever
Where do walls shop?--Walmart.
Your butt is bigger than Uranus!
So one day, I took a trip to Russia and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any bodyguards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days.
After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I said yes, and the officer said, "God help us."
So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said, "I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy." He said, "We did, and that we were extremely drunk."
Most annoying thing...
When we send something in WhatsApp thinking our friend is online but can only see two grey ticks...
What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?
Domi-don't-knows...
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her... she had really bad balance.
Ignition of the bus engine.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrdQcalibEo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GC7S6BZVXkI
Why can’t orphans celebrate Christmas?
Because they have no family.
Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself.
What do you call a sad Doge?
What?
Nothing but Sarrrooooddd!
Things said by racist aliens:
"Some of my best friends are Green."
"I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship."
"You're very pretty for a Purple girl."
"We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!"
"Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people."
"You 2-headed people are so stupid!"
"No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes."
"Get the hell out of my store you grigger!"
"The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"
Things said by racist aliens:
"Some of my best friends are Green."
"I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship."
"You're very pretty for a Purple girl."
"We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!"
"Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people."
"You 2-headed people are so stupid!"
"No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes."
"Get out of my store you grigger!"
"The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"
Sending gay men to prison makes no sense to me. I mean, you have sex with a man and then they lock you up with a bunch of other men.
That would be like arresting someone for drunk driving and forcing them to become a bartender.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks.
What is one of the worst but funniest incidents ever: a bullet in a baby in a baggy in a barrel in a bus in a nuclear plant were all of the employee's are molesters?
What was the last thing Stephen Hawking said before he died?
"Windows Shut Down."
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because there was a power cut.
What's the difference between a battery and my wife? The battery has a positive side.
Write a different joke of onions and a dead baby.