Worst Jokes Ever
Monkey monkey monkey monkey.
Dark jokes are like water; some people just don't get it.
Vegetarian: I prefer plants.
Herbivore: I just like food.
Cannibal: I'm a people person.
Why is the sun famous? Because it’s a shining star.
Sorry for posting this!
Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?
Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.
Okay, One time I there was my dog. But then the dog, it fell.
Then I f**ked my dog hard in the a**.
What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?
Ooh, snickerdoodles!
"Ur Mater."
When the washer started running, why did you join me?
Because I had to catch it.
Did you hear the one about the deaf person?
Me: No.
That's because they can't hear, so they don't talk.
When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"
This boy said, "Get your hairline straight." I said, "Girls don't have a hairline. How about you go to the barber shop and let your barber do your hair 10 times worse than he did the first time."
I'm a Model. My doctor asked me to make an acronym for POST because I post pictures on Instagram.
(Trying to) P-ut O-ff Suicidal T-houghts
Me: Says to kid at adoption center, "You're adopted!"
Me and kid: hug.
Thought this site needed a little bit of nice jokes.
My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.
My girlfriend and I played Russian Roulette once.
We had sex afterwards even though she lost.
You want to know the bad thing? Only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette.
what's the difference between hitler and you?
one didn't keep posting on twitter about killing themselves.
What's the difference between my dad and the milk man? The milk man comes back with the goddamn milk.
There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.
She really hates it when I spit my food back out.