Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a cow that eats grass?
A lawn mooer.
What did the toilet paper say to the other toilet paper?
"Hey, check me out! I'm on a roll!" 😂😂🤭🤭
I have a really good construction joke.
But I'm still working on it.
What does a serial killer make for breakfast?
Scrambled legs and toes.
Jim's car is swerving all over the road, so a cop pulls him over. "Step out of the car," says the cop. "I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test." "I can't," Jim responds. "You see, I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack." "Alright," says the cop, "then you're going to have to take a blood test." "Can't do that either," Jim responds. "I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death." "Ok," the cop answers, "then I will need a urine sample." "Sorry," says Jim, "I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low." "Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me." "Can't do that either," responds Jim. "Why not?" demanded the exasperated cop. "Well, because I'm drunk!"
Where is the pocket?
It is there, the pocket.
Why did the egg fall off the motorbike?
He was shite.
What do you call butter without an expiration date?
A miracle butter, because wow!
What did the expired butter do once it had expired?
It did an expire.
I love necrophilia, but only if it's consensual!
What happens when premenstrual Raggedy Ann gets with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
I farted how bout u?
I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
What do starving kids call Venetian blinds?
Bunk beds.
Your mum is so smart, but she still can’t figure out why she had you.
What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.
You're a joke!
What did Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common?: (What *didn't* they have in common)
Same red shorts, theme park in their backyard, white glove, soft voices, loved children, they both were black with white faces.
What's great about an emo pizza?
It cuts itself. Yay!