Worst Jokes Ever
My sister thinks she's so smart, she said onions are the only food that makes you cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If a chicken flies into the plane and the plane crashes, whose fault is it?
A: The driver's. Chickens can't fly.
Up your butt with a coconut!
I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. 😂🤣
Welcome to David's Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Milk man.
Milkman who?
Milk poooooooooooooooop peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep man!
Why did the koala climb the tree?
To get to the other branch. :)
He made it, don't worry!
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
So they can get in the cast!
What did the nose say to the finger?
"Stop picking me!"
Why can't blind people fish?
Because it was "see food."
So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, "I hope that wasn't too much to Handel. Don't let it Strauss you out."
For all of my musicians out there!
What would fall out of a tree first, a depressed person or a feather?
Answer: The feather wouldn't. The rope would stop the person from falling all the way.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
If you ever had your nipple ripped off by a possum, you might be a redneck...
What did the pig say when he was in the sun?
I'm bacon.
When you have to get your prostate checked and you can feel the cold rubber of the glove, but you realize both the doctor's hands are on your shoulders.
So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.
So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sister's Jenga kit!”
The principal's office smells nice.