Worst Jokes Ever
First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!" SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?" HE: "I’m a butcher." SHE: "Perfect! I work with humans, I just kill them by cutting them up!"
HE: "So it's you in the newspaper?" SHE: "Yes, it was, wanna be next?" HE: "No!"
If an orphan tells you there's 365 days in a year, tell them for you it's only 363 days because you skip Father's Day and Mother's Day.
First Date: HE: "I work with animals every day!"
SHE: "Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?"
HE: "I'm a butcher."
SHE: "We're through!"
What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
R2 Detour.
Why can't your nose be twelve inches?
Because then it would be a foot.
Why can't orphans have friends?
They will stay together.
Yo mama so hairy that bigfoot dated her.
Yo mama so ugly, it made the world stop spinning.
You are annoying lolllllllll.
I saw identical twins. I threw a paper plane at them.
I can cry, but I don't have eyes. I can fly, but I don't have wings. Who am I?
A cloud.
I tried to catch fog today. I mist.
When I mist, I miss.
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
Every joke I make about 9/11 just has a tendency to crash and burn.
Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
How do you find a blind man on a nude beach?
It’s not hard.
What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off!
Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.
This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."