Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Give a blowjob.

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Perform fellatio.

What can you give a white person that you can't give to a black person?

A black eye.

Draw an accurate diagram representing the elephant genitalia. Use all 30 sheets of paper provided.

And there's the referee taking down Ronaldo's number.

Not really the time or the place, but it's good to see that we've kept homophobia out of football.

A new feature that we are bringing to the Olympics is 3D viewing. So if you're watching the javelin, I would look away now.

In this modern age, I feel as though it's inappropriate to make jokes about herbs and fish.

It's not the thyme or the plaice for it.

I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.

So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.

The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"

The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"

The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.

Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."

Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"

Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."

Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They put doorknobs on a wall and said, "Open the door."