Worst Jokes Ever
Do you want to hear a building joke?
I am still working on it.
And the children of Israel wandered round the desert for 40 years, until eventually Moses' wife said, "Are you going to ask for directions, or what?"
I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital.
The wheels on the bus go round and round!
Nope, should've gone to Specsavers.
Let me just remove my finger from your bottom.
Thank you, nurse!
Would you mind just peeing into this cup, please? It's the one the annoying receptionist uses.
It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose.
She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life, she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.
And the winner of the Tour de France is awarded, as ever, with the yellow jersey.
To remind him what color his piss is meant to be.
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.
Well, we've removed all of the excess fat from your body, and all that's left, I'm afraid, is the wig, Mrs. Trump.
Look! An ancient African city!
From the makers of Timbukone...
Guys, add me in Discord.
Yo forehead so angled, your mom could walk up.
Why can't orphans steal bases?
Because they can't find home.
What is a selfie of an orphan called?
A family photo.
An emo and a leaf fall from a tree, which hits the ground first?
The leaf, because the emo got caught by the rope.
I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.