Worst Jokes Ever
Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home.
They got in the car, and his mother asked, "Johnny, what did you do this time?" So Johnny pulled his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Once they got home, his dad was off work and heard that Johnny was coming home early from school. Once again he asked Johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his dad was surprised, so his dad pulled down his pants and said, "Big whale, big whale."
Don't make fun of fat people. They already have a lot on their plate.
My last 15 minutes as a 23 y/o!!
It's not my birthday, but a scary-looking man with a crowbar just broke into my house.
Q: Why did the cat get a ticket?
A: He was caught littering.
Q. What's long, hard, and scary when you first see it?
A. Calculus homework.
Q: Why did the cat get arrested?
A: He was caught littering.
Women: Can I have your number?
Jesus: No.
Women: Why? Are you scared?
Jesus: No. Just when you wanna talk, just pray.
Girl: Rip, mother, I love you.
Me: Sorry for your loss.
Girl: Stop, I have a boyfriend.
Me: Stop, I have a mother.
This girl called me cute, and I told her don’t call me that. She says why, I told her, “Bitch, call me the Hokage!”
Why do Americans always win at the shooting Olympics?
Because they train at the best school.
This kid lost Kahoot, so he shot up the school.
"Better lock 'em doors and turn the lights down low... Better turn 'em on, just stubbed my f***ing toe!"
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered three pepperoni pizzas and one came plain, the other came late, and the other one went to the wrong address.
Why did my mouth say no to butt? Because that would be too much sex.
The last number of your like is the Amogus you get.
1: Amogus trollface
2: Frogus
3: Amogus in 2013
4: Chogus
5: Classic Amogus
6: Wait this isn't Amogus
7: Amogus drip
8: Amog sus
9: Amog stuff
What’s the difference between a computer and Paul Walker? I give a crap when my computer crashes.
Why can't you kill a depressed person?
Because they are already dead inside.
Drawers!
What type of phones do orphans have?
IPhone XR—it has no home button.
What did the phone receptionist at the suicide hotline tell the callers?
Hang in there!