Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?

A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.

You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?

Why are Michael Jackson and caviar so much in common?

They both come on little white crackers.

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”

Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?

He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.

What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?

When they're on their backs, they're screwed.

What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?

They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.

I really wasn't planning on going for a run today, but damn, those cops came out of nowhere!

A woman has been raped by a man. She calls the police, and a policeman shows up.

Woman: "Please help, officer! I have been raped!"

Officer: "No problem, ma'am, I will just unrape you."

Woman: "What? Unrape me? How?"

Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape.

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    • Teacher: Students, tomorrow bring your parents to the open house.

    Student one orphan: I don't have any.

    Student 2: What is the difference between you and an escaped prisoner?

    Student one orphan: What!

    Student 2: The prisoner gets picked.

    What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?

    You are so butty-ful!

    Why can't you hear the pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

    Because the "p" is silent.