Worst Jokes Ever
I want to make a joke about old age, but I'm too senile to finish it.
What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?
The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.
A priest asks a convicted murderer on the electric chair, "Do you have any last request?"
"Yes," said the murderer, "Will you hold my hand?"
What makes a joke a dad joke? When it leaves and doesn't come back.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home plate.
OTHERS (MOTIVATED): If I had FLYING as a SUPERPOWER, FALLING would be the BEGINNING STAGE.
ME (DEPRESSED): OK, GOOD IDEA! LETS FALL OFF THE CLIFF AND FLY TO HEAVEN!!
What's worse than depression & suicide?
Easy: LIVING. Everyday you wish you were dead but then reality hits you in the face that you're still alive and have to suffer living.
Pretend or not pretend, we have to decide everyday even if we don't pretend no one will notice :) no one ever does :). Living is the problem to everything. We get depression cuz of it and so much. Why can't we just die :)?
Sex is like math.
Subtract the clothes, add the bed, divide the legs, and pray to God there is no multiplying.
When the C.I.A. raided Osama Bin Laden’s house, they found Steam on his computer. This means he was a gamer. He raged a little too hard and went for New York.
Why don’t pedophiles win races?
They like to come in a little behind.
I like dick.
Why can't an orphan be gay? Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
What show does an orphan hate the most? Modern Family.
What goes hahaha bonk?
A man laughing his head off.
Minecraft YouTube, but I can sing Believer!
YouTube, but I'm making a first video in YouTube.
And I record all the Minecraft videos and upload.
Ooohh! To try it and upload. Ooohh!
I've been recorded to streaming, couple more sleeps to do the dreaming.
I finally get to the stronghold, and if you told me, you told me, you told me, you told me.
Place some more ender eyes, and it's time to big surprise.
It's time to kill the ender dragon, go into the...
END!
Take that crystal, take that crystal, Believer, Believer!
Knock him down, knock him down, Believer, Believer!
Axe it's head, axe it's head.
Axe it's head, defeat him.
SUBSCRIBE!!!
What kind of car does Pikachu drive?
A Volts-wagon.
Everyone likes orphans but their parents.
Why do white people colonize everything?
To steal a culture for themselves, something other than fornicating with anything that moves including their own children and pets, which they already do.
What do 9/11 and COVID-19 have in common?
I couldn't give a fuck about either.
You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"