Worst Jokes Ever

I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.

Want to see a funny joke? Look in the mirror.

Go up to an orphan and say: "Yer ma is deed."

How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.

I told my orphan girlfriend that I had to grab milk. (Goes to the store, grabs milk.) As I grab the milk, I thought, "Hey, I bet I can repeat her life twice."

If there's ever a shooting at school, pull out an Uno reverse card.

My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing, so I threw her out the window instead.

A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."

What's the difference between humans and mushrooms? I don't like eating mushrooms.

So little Johnny was walking to the bathroom, and he said, "Grandma," said, "why is the blood coming out of your ###😥 I need to call help."

Guess what that is and it’s explosive. The end looks like <>

Hi, I'm Depraashin.

Hi, I'm rope. May I hang with you guys?

I told a blonde she needed gas for her car, and she farted into the gas tank.

Jimmy Savile should have presented Pop off the Tops instead of Top of the Pops.

How do you spell "cognitive mess?"

J.O.E. B.I.D.E.N.

What's the difference between an orphan's dad and a boomerang?

The boomerang comes back.

What should people do with their floppy dicks?

I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!

What’s the difference in an apple and an orphan?

One actually gets picked.

Why can’t an orphan play online games?

They don’t have their parents' input.

Q: What do a blond girl and a tornado have in common? A: There's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house.