Worst Jokes Ever
Why are they called "breaking news" in the entire world?
Because they are breaking the whole entire news.
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.
Why couldn't the NASA astronaut enter his rocket to leave Earth?
There wasn't enough space to fly it.
How do you start a fight in space?
"Comet me, bro."
What does an Irish bowler put in his hands to guarantee a wicket next ball?
A bat.
What did the spectator miss when going to the toilet?
The entire English innings.
I love telling jokes about orphans.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!
Q: What did Donald Trump say after America gave him the boot?
A: What am I supposed to do with one boot?
OFFICIAL
Pionnel Pessi's tracklist leaked!
1. Neymar gave me a career. 2. Lewandowski finished me. 3. 8-2 4. I own Elche. 5. I am a fraud (ft. Pyllian Mpappe) 6. 10m 7. I fled La Liga 8. Want to be Ronaldo. 9. Long live Bolivia. 10. Wind man
Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.
The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!
So I stayed at home for Halloween when I suddenly hear a knock on my door. I open and I see Penandes! I was confused and asked him why he does not wear a costume, and he said he doesn't need to.
Then I realized that he's a ghost and gave him 3 candies. Enjoy the candies Pruno!
I was shopping for a halloween costume, but once we got to the ghost section all of the costumes were out of stock! It turned out Pristiano Penaldo was buying them all! I came up to him and asked why he was doing this and he said: I’m sorry, but it’s match day, I must be a ghost 👻👻
I can't believe what just happened. I was at the bowling alley having a great time with my girlfriend when suddenly a man took all of our bowling pins! I asked him why and he said he needed more tapins to keep his career relevant. I instantly realized it was Penaldo!
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
What does a child molester and a Catholic priest have in common? They both prey at church.
"Whole November month, sniper lessons available in Dallas U.S.?"
"September 11th plane driving classes for free."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow who?
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
What did the bones on the moon tell the astronaut?
The cow never made it.