Worst Jokes Ever
When an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.
Why do emos get discounts at every shop? Because they have barcodes on their wrists.
Can I get a Hoyah?
I like dicks... sporting goods.
What do emos and the Twin Towers have in common? There were two, but now there are none.
What do you call an emo a cappella group?
Self harmony.
Another condom name is "Orphan's Home."
Fake emo: when I’m sad, I cut myself.
Real emo: same.
Fake emo: another piece of cake.
What do you call a blind person driving a car?
Died.
Why are bees' hair always sticky?
Because they use a honeycomb...
Q: What do you call a security guard at Samsung?
A: Guardians of the Galaxy.
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"
"Abortion jokes are like the babies; they never get old."
Facial detection? More like racial detection.
Some of the most convincing people you'll ever listen to are born liars; usually they're called politicians.
What did a bee who was interested in philosophy say?
"To bee or not to bee."
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.