Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?

An American.

If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.

You know that the F in orphan may stand for family, but it actually stands for "fuck family."

Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password. Me: I don't have a password. So you *won't* have a d*ck after I tear it off you.

I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"

After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.

In America, you fight Ukraine.

In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.

As a murderer, I stabbed a man after infiltrating his house. His wife came in and saw me. She fell into tears. I got up and said, "Drama queen!"

I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.

I was trying to tell some people here to stop, but then I found out that the S was covered in blood from me assaulting someone.

I had a huge crush on this girl when I was eight. One recess we met together on the playground, and she brought me to the corner of the playground. That was my first kiss, and from there it got serious. I told my parents a week later and they freaked out, called the police, and they arrested my crush. I miss Mrs. Johnson.