My gf told me I have to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car.
what do you call a kid with special needs with a gun? Special Forces
roses are red, violets are blue, I fucked a chimpanzee behind my local zoo
Do emos get jealous when their phone dies?
Dark jokes are just like food.Not every one gets it
What is one good thing about child molesters?
They drive slow past schools
The only joke my dad ever made was me
If the noose breaks, stab yourself!
If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!
If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*
The best part about being a medical student is, you will never run out of jokes.
Russia went from N-95 to M-16 real quick...
The last thing I said to my dog was,
"Play dead."
If I was God, my parents would be anesthetists.
Yo mama so fat that when I banged her in the jacuzzi, there was a level 8 tsunami.
Why was the orphan so bad at basketball? He had no encouragement.
Yo mom is so fat when she went to sit on the couch it said, "To be continued."
Period blood is like KFC, because it's finger-licking good!
The depressed kid wanted a high-five from the tree, but it left him hangin'.
There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”
The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”
The third blonde says “so we go at night.”
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice?
Because it said "concentration camp."
What did God say when he created the first black person?
"Behold, this specimen of divine integrity!"
