What brand of paint did Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch?
Dutch Boy.
Worst Jokes Ever
An emo texted a tree, "Wanna hang out?"
The tree ghosted her.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orphan.
Orphan who?
Orphan who needs a parent!
Why does the orphan like nature? He can call someone "mother."
Why does an orphan like church so much? So he can call someone "father."
I saw this kid sitting on the sidewalk and asked him where are his parents?
I love working at an orphanage.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that walks into a fire?
Hot Wheels.
Who is king of the pencils?
The ruler!
Why did the Lego cross the road? He was on the wrong block!
There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.
My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot Pakistan has ever seen, Allahu Akbar!
My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot for Pakistan.
I don't joke about 9/11 because I lost my dad. He was the best pilot I ever knew.
What does an orphan not have in common with criminals?
Criminals are wanted.
What do tomatoes 🍅 learn to do in a race?
Ketchup!
I mess up goats for unicorns?
Jimmy the Unicorn or goat.
I don't even know.
All normal-sized babies are delivered by stork.
Heavier babies are delivered by crane.
I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."
Why could the orphan never be gay?
Because he had nobody to call "daddy."
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
To buy a house.
