What do you get when you cross a pig with a cactus? A porkupine!
Worst Jokes Ever
Like if you like dogs. Dislike if you like cats. Other animal? Tell me in the comments!
I was going to make alligator last night, but I noticed I only had a croc pot.
Me: What's the difference between me and my grandpa?
Friends: What?
Me: I've been alive for the past 14 years.
We sped up the cycle of life and death, we gave Eric and Dylan a shortcut.
As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.
Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."
One day my sister was making hotdogs. My sister asked me if I wanted some. I said no. Then my sister asked my friend, and he always said no.
Then my sister said I have to eat it plain with no flavor. We have no ketchup, mustard, or onions. My friend said I got something to give it flavor. My sister said, "Okay."
My sister left the kitchen to get something. I asked my friend what are you going to do. Then he took the hotdog bread, opened it, and ran his penis all around it, and put some white cream that came out of his penis. I put the hotdogs on the bread. Then my sister came back and put hotdogs on the hotdog bread. I told my sister the hotdogs are ready. She ate them. I asked how were the hotdogs. My sister said, "I don’t know what flavor is this, but it is very tasty."
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
Why was Michael Jackson at Kmart?
He heard they had little boys' pants 1/2 off.
On a scale of 1-10, how old was Michael Jackson’s last boyfriend?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Stephen.
Can't you read? It says "No Hawking."
I went 80 mph in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed, "Am I hallucinating?"
Why do most orphans become criminals?
Then finally they know what it’s like to be wanted.
My gf told me she was pregnant, so I punched her in the stomach.
She asked me why the hell I did that. I told her I wanted to let her know I’m pro abortion.
My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.
She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
Why is there a hole in Uranus?
Say all the planets: Mars, Saturn, Uranus.
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Because I know they haven't.
Do you know how to make 4 Albanians stand on a shoebox?
Just tell them that it floats.