When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
Worst Jokes Ever
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
"Dude come here and see a rabbit!"
"Ok!"
"Are you ok, man?"
"Yeah, I’m fine."
"Dude, pull your pants back up!"
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home base.
One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"
What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"
Did you hear the passengers on the Titanic invited Yo Momma and the Titanic crew said, "Man overboard!"
Clit
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered pepperoni and got plane.
One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.
Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.
What day is Labor Day?
It's the day mommies have their babies.
What's at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?
A nervous wreck.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
Poor guy really needs some space.
Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?
He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.
Say "I hop in this:".
I made you eat your peas! 🤦
Your hairline is so repulsive that my entire family got eye cancer from seeing it, and it goes so far back that you be looking like Vegeta.
For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.
That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!
Your hairline is lookin' so crusty like KFC chicken and be so discombobulated that it looks like satellite signals. It gives me flippin' sun radiation.
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
In tiny Knotsies.
