Last Christmas was awesome, the whole family came.
Worst Jokes Ever
How did Princess Diana die?
Giving the glove box head.
Why is Death the world's biggest slut?
Death gets to f*** everyone.
So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.
If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.
You suck harder than a vacuum ever will :)
Your hairline's less straight than my dad's.
Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.
How do you bury a prostitute?
In a Y-shaped coffin.
Add me on Fortnite, my user is liamonoce2004 :)
Why do orphans commit crimes?
It’s the only time they’re ever wanted.
I was at a My Chemical Romance meet and greet that Gerard didn’t attend, I just thought... “NO WAY!”
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims, they went through 91 stories in 11.2 seconds.
What do you call a fat Indian that is actually a machine?
The "curry muncher 2000."
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
Family photo.
What is it called when orphans take a selfie?
A family photo.
I made an orphan's website, but there was no homepage--because they don't have a home.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and called it "Hot Wheels."
I gave a blind person a gun and said it was a hair dryer.
Yo mama so fat, even Thanos had to snap twice.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
