An emo tried to high-five a tree.
It left him hanging.
Worst Jokes Ever
What is a show an orphan will never be able to relate to?
"Full House".
By the way, infertility is hereditary:
If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.
Why don't communists like Microsoft? Because it's Minecraft instead of ourcraft.
What happened when the emo kid gave the tree a high five? It left him hanging.
Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.
Violence breeds violence, nothing else.
I would try to stop rapists, but force would be an option for it.
My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.
Until I threw a watermelon in her face.
If an orphan has a nightmare, they should run to their parents. Oh wait!
What did Michael Jackson say when Anne got hurt?
"♫ ANNIE, ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE? ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY. BUT JUST TELL US, THAT YOU'RE OKAY. ♫"
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
Yesterday I wanted to look up the term "procrastination".
I swear, I'll do it tomorrow.
My Grandmother died last month. The thing that bugs me to this day, I couldn't understand her last words... through the pillow.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent!
What did the dentist say when he looks into a patient's mouth?
"I C D K"
You know what I see?
DICK
Dad joke time:
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
"Daddy, what are those two things on mum’s chest?" asked Tom. "Those are just... balloons," said dad.
(Later)
"Dad! I think mum’s dying!" said Tom. "Why?" asked dad. "Because uncles are blowing her balloons, and she said, ‘Oh god, I'm cumming!’"
Why do orphans only have iPhone XR?
Because they don't have home buttons.
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds?
Because it's the average class size.
