Worst Jokes Ever

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and said, "Hot Wheels!"

Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.

Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.

He was a great pilot.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

Why is 10 so scared? Because he is right in the middle of 9/11.

My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.

I had to stop using cutting jokes because they were getting too deep.

Here’s one for the Aussies: What’s the difference between an echidna and a police car? All the pricks are on the inside.

What does LMAO mean?

Launching missiles at orphanage.

Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it?

The salad could be dressing!

Smash or pass?

"Smash," said the iceberg.

TItanic:...

My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.

I worry about him sometimes.

Why can’t a gay person walk a trail? Because a gay person can’t walk on a straight line.

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

What does lmao launching missiles at orphanage mean?

I don't know, but it's messed up.

Why do girls not have balls?

Because they don’t.

Crimes in 2018: assault, murder.

Crimes in 2020: coughing in public.

You're so fat that when you went outside, you broke the 2-meter rule for COVID.

What is a dry swimmer?

Not in the water...

Why can't Mexicans play Uno?

Because they take all the green cards.